What a House Fire Taught Me About Growth, Gratitude, and the Enneagram

Our House Caught Fire… and I’m Grateful

Yes, I said grateful.
And no, I’m not crazy...though you may have wondered for a second. 😉

Hi, I’m Deb Watson. I’m married to the man of my dreams (who also happens to be an amazing baseball coach), and together we have five incredible kids. We’re a blended family, and if you know our story, you know that we’ve been through more than our share of grief, loss, and hard things.

We’ve faced mental health crises, unexpected death, chronic illness, divorce, addiction, suicide, and trauma that we don’t always talk about. And just when we thought maybe we’d caught our breath, lightning struck—literally.

The Night Everything Changed

It was a typical Saturday morning.
A storm rolled in. I was asleep in bed. Two of our kids were home.

Then at 3 a.m., lightning struck our house.
We ran outside in our pajamas.
And we watched our home burn.

Firefighters arrived and worked tirelessly to save what they could. But the house was destroyed.
My daughter turned to me and asked through tears:
“Why does this kind of thing always happen to us? Can we just catch a break?”

I didn’t have an answer.
All I could say was:
“I love you. And we’ll get through this - just like we always do.”

And we will.

But that morning, we walked away with nothing but the clothes on our backs, standing barefoot in the rain. A firefighter brought us shoes. We found warmth at my mother-in-law’s house. And I realized: even in the middle of devastation, I felt clarity. I felt grounded. I felt… grateful.

The Unexpected Lessons

I’ve learned a lot in the aftermath of that fire - some lessons are practical, some deeply emotional. Here are a few I want to pass along:

1. Get the Right Insurance

Yes, I’m serious.
About four years ago, we switched insurance companies. The new agent told us we didn’t have enough coverage. I almost shrugged it off, thinking, “That would never happen to us.”

Spoiler alert: It did.
Because of that agent, we’ve been able to repair, replace, and rebuild.

Please - especially when costs are rising and you're tempted to cut corners - don’t skimp here. What seems like an “extra” expense could be the thing that gives you stability when everything else is falling apart.

2. Let People Help You

This one is hard.
My husband and I are helpers. We’re independent. We’ve lived through enough that we often think: “We’ve got it.”

But we didn’t. Not this time.
And thank God for community.

That morning, I was supposed to be working the final day of a boot camp with Joe and Suzanne Stabile from The Life in the Trinity Ministry. At 4 a.m., I texted my friend Nicole:
“Our house was hit by lightning and caught fire.”

She immediately mobilized the LTM community. They wrapped their arms around us - figuratively and practically - and gave us what we didn’t even know we needed.

Don’t underestimate the power of people who love you.
Let them show up. Even if you don’t know how to ask.

3. The Work You Do on Yourself Matters

This is the one I want you to hear most.

If I hadn’t done the inner work I’ve done...
If I didn’t know my own Enneagram patterns,
If I hadn’t learned how my body holds stress,
If I didn’t understand how each member of my family responds to overwhelm…

This would have been a very different story.

Because of that work, I could recognize:

• That when I’m stressed, I get aggressive and hyper-functional

• That my husband starts asking questions to find solid ground when everything feels shaky.

• That one daughter gets fiery and intense

• That one son pulls away and shuts down

If I didn’t have that awareness, I would have internalized it all as conflict, or chaos, or failure.

But instead, I could see it for what it was:
Our nervous systems doing what they were wired to do.

And I could choose compassion. For them. For myself.

When Life Catches Fire, the Ground You’ve Built Matters

The Enneagram has given me a framework to understand my own patterns.
Somatic work has given me the tools to stay grounded when those patterns get loud.
And community has given me a place to land when life becomes unrecognizable.

This wasn’t the first hard thing our family has been through.
But it’s one of the clearest reminders that inner work - when practiced with love, embodied awareness, and support - changes everything.

We’re still healing. Still rebuilding.
But I’m not in survival mode this time.
I’m present. I’m grateful. I’m okay.

And if I can leave you with one thing, it’s this:

Do the work now, not because anything is wrong with you -
but because one day, your whole world might shake…
and you’ll need a solid foundation to stand on.

Want Support for Your Own Growth?

Whether you're walking through something hard or simply ready to understand yourself on a deeper level, you don't have to figure it out alone.

If you're curious about how your Enneagram type and nervous system patterns are shaping your life - and how to gently shift them - I'd be honored to support you.

Explore ways to work with me

P.S.
In this original blog, I shared about the support we received from the LTM community. And while that’s absolutely true, I also want to honor the close friends and family who showed up for us in ways big and small - through texts, meals, prayers, and presence. Your love carried us through those early days and well beyond. I’m so grateful! Thank you!💛